Wanna know about the music I make? Here’s the info:

A performer for more than 35 years, Chuck Parker has filled many musical roles: heavy metal guitarist, singer/songwriter, jazz sideman, open mic host, filk circle regular, session player, and World’s Okayest Bassist™.

Chuck has been a regular on the con circuit for more than a decade, and he’s played ballrooms, biergartens and backyards all over the country, both as a solo performer and as the bassist for nerdmusik icons The Blibbering Humdingers. He plays slice of life, confessional geek tunes that are often kind of funny, and his lyrics have been called “sensitive”, “literate”, and “hard to sing…”

He is also a published poet, avid cyclist, spouse, father, and a herder of cats, both figuratively and literally.

Tunes:

• Bandcamp: Songs/Albums for sale/download
• Spotify
• Apple Music
• YouTube Artist Channel
• …and very likely on your other favorite streaming service!
• The Blibbering Humdingers, the wizard rock/nerdmusik band I’ve played bass with for most of the last ten years
• Stuff I Made – live recordings, other people’s records I’ve appeared on, rare stuff, writing, etc…

Gigs

• Chuck’s Gigs Page

Yes, it’s true I haven’t posted anything in this space in almost a month, and that’s okay.

It’s been a journal of sorts for damn near two decades, and that’s fine, but honestly, given the state of the world, both my corner of it and the larger one (which frustratingly, intrudes directly upon my personal one more than I’d like), I don’t feel much like writing about it in what’s effectively a public space.

I’m dealing with some stuff, but I’m dealing with it in what are arguably more effective ways than simply screaming out into this void. I’m talking about things, both with folks close to me and with trained professionals. I’ve been walking my dog a lot, just getting outside and touching grass, both figuratively and literally. I wrote a bunch of songs for FAWM this year, and while I’m not entirely happy with any of them, putting feelings into verse, even if I never do anything with the results (there aren’t really any “hits” in this year’s batch right out of the gate), is a worthwhile effort. The time spent in the act of creation is never wasted.

Music continues to be an outlet; I’ve played a couple of pretty good shows over the last month or two, where people listened, laughed in the right places, and seemed to generally enjoy themselves. I’ve got a few more lined up in the next couple of months (even if I think I might have overdone it last year given everything else). I’m helping a friend on one of his musical projects which is an interesting creative challenge, and I’m hoping that challenge kick-starts the motivation to finish up my semi-stalled project that I got a nice start on during the first seven weeks of the fiscal year when I didn’t have much else to do.

Through all that, I’ve been spending a lot of time with my thoughts, about both now, and the future, and what I want those things to look like. Making plans, thinking about contingencies; the kinds of stuff a lot of people with a little more life behind them than before them tend to think about. I’m truly not planning on going anywhere, but time is time. It keeps moving, and it’s just something we have to deal with.

I’m also trying my best, through things like meditation, exercise, Radical Acceptance, and simply being mindful to let go of things I can’t control. There’s a lot of uncertainty out there right now, and I’m trying to not let it overwhelm me.

Last month, the Walk For Peace passed less than a mile from my house, so I went out on a cold Saturday morning to witness and honor the monks’ (and of course, Aloka‘s) efforts, and for an hour or so, I felt like I was a part of something bigger that was trying to make a difference or at least make a corner of the world a little better. It felt good.

I’m trying to feel that feeling a bit more, and stop worrying. I’m not going to apologize for that, or for not navel-gazing into the Abyss about the latest bit of shit they’re flooding the zone with.

I read John F. Kennedy’s Profiles in Courage back in high school for a class assignment. At the time, as a freshman way more into hair metal, comic books, and crushing on girls without talking to them, it was not my favorite assignment. I found it pretty dry and dull, though I appreciated what it was trying to say.

As a university student majoring in history and civics, in addition to getting a little better about talking to girls, I gained further insight into the context of the work; that it was largely designed as an effort to rehabilitate the Senator’s public image and lay the groundwork for a presidential campaign, plus it was largely ghostwritten by his longtime speechwriter.

as a career public servant and old man student of politics (and still into metal music and comic books) in today’s world, the idea of “courage” in the face of adversity is something that is, frankly, at the top of mind. I haven’t read the book since that time way back when, but I ran across this passage recently and it resonated.

“For, in a democracy, every citizen, regardless of his interest in politics, ‘holds office’; every one of us is in a position of responsibility; and, in the final analysis, the kind of government we get depends upon how we fulfill those responsibilities. We, the people, are the boss, and we will get the kind of political leadership, be it good or bad, that we demand and deserve.”

Maybe, warts and all, it’s worth revisiting.

Actually, I totally am.

We ALL are.

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photo from RFP

So, 2025. Not at all sorry to see it go. as far as things go, the bad outweighed the good by several orders of magnitude. Stress and anxiety galore, in near-constant fight-or-flight mode since January, never knowing what terrible thing was going to happen next. I made a few neat things and saw a few more, but overall, it was largely about just getting through it.

I survived it, and I guess that’s something, but it doesn’t feel like it. I’m expecting 2026 to be its own particular kind of shitty, in entirely different ways; it’s a pretty safe bet. Being wrong is not uncommon with me, but I honestly don’t think I am this time.

So, in the spirit of one of the best lines in a tv show I really enjoyed this year, here’s my message for the universe as we bring things to a close:

Not much to be said about my first week of year-end leave burn; got a handful of things done around the house, took about ten miles of walk with the dog, nursed the lovely spouse through a sinus infection, and got my teeth cleaned. But mostly, though? I played some video games, read a couple of books, and watched more TV than I’d done in a long time.

Happy holidays to me.

The net couple of weeks look about the same. A handful of local gatherings with friends, checking out a friend’s holiday figure skating recital, heading to the Trader Joe’s on the other side of the metro for the fancy cheese, and maybe hit Final Gravity for a pint and ingredients for another batch of beer to close out the year.

As well as appending “but only if I feel like it” to the end of most of the entries on that list; simply embracing that concept is kind of freeing.

I’m not completely ignoring the news, as headlines feed conversation over a pint with fellow grocery store barflies (we’re actually doing The Hunger Games now?), and there’s some weird under-the-radar stuff of of great potential relevance I’ve got to keep an eye on, but it’s way better for my sanity if I limit my intake, but Happy Epstein Day to those who celebrate.

Again, things remain fluid; the goal of these few weeks is to reduce stress and wear on the body and psyche. The “but only if I feel like it” rule remains in full effect.

Anyway; here’s some tunes that Spotify spit out; it’s mostly neat indie stuff that I feel like I listen to all the time, even if my “Wrapped” says it was primarily KISS and Zappa. I don’t trust the algorithms that much; they’d need to pay me more to earn that.

1. “Stand for Myself” – Yola
2. “Something Good” – Dead Sara
3. “Searcher” – Murder By Death
4. “People of Substance” – Craig Finn
5. “Take It Off” – The Donnas
6. “Empty Nest” – Silversun Pickups
7. “Baptized by Fire” – Spinnerette
8. “Talk to Me” – The Record Company
9. “Take the Journey” – Molly Tuttle
10. “Run Away With Me” – Cold War Kids
11. “I Can See the Devil” – S.G. Goodman
12. “Blood Harmony” – Larkin Poe
13. “Blow Up” – The Beaches

Not going to lie, I’d gladly do most of 1998 over again; on balance, it was a pretty good year.

I guess that should read “It’ll be…”, but then the reference to arguably the biggest hit of a scrappy 90s Canadian pop quintet I once had a beer with in Philadelphia would be lost, and that’s a world I don’t wish to live in.

What I’m really referring to is the fact that I’ve got one week to go in my 2025 work year, before taking (another) break and burning the use-or-lose leave that got racked up this year. As has been discussed in this space at length, I don’t have tremendous plans to do much of anything; I mostly plan to bum around the house whilst getting paid and having a clear idea of when I’ll start working again; at least for a while -I expect 2026 will bring more fear, uncertainty, and doubt (and certainly plenty of crippling anxiety)- but for now, I can check out for a while from work, life, and the pressure of the holidays (as has also been discussed), and refill my silverware drawer.

There’s been way too much life and chaos in the fourth quarter of the calendar year, and while I’ve mostly been handling it, through perseverance, prescription pharmaceuticals, and the occasional pint with my fellow grocery store bar flies, but it’s been especially trying for the last few months, and hiding under a rock for most of December to regroup and refuel feels like the best policy.

As is tradition, I shall be pretty much going dark for the upcoming holiday weekend. Going to touch a little grass, eat and drink a bit, and ignore (if not turn off completely) the phone. It’s a bit of self-care that I, as they say, mindfully practice. Plus, this year, there’s already been too much everything, and I, frankly, don’t need the additional stress. My local independent radio station will be playing the classic embedded above a couple of times throughout the day, and I’ll enjoy that at least once, and won’t buy anything on Friday, because who needs that shit?

Besides, there’s Stranger Things to watch.

The last couple of weeks…they’ve been a lot.

We wrapped the “longest in history” business, with some mixed feelings. We’re back, we’ve been back paid, and life continues. Of course, being what time of year it is, the fact that it’s only a continuing resolution means there’s no money on the books yet, and starting this week, there’s going to be so much use-or-lose leave being burned (including by me) that there wouldn’t be anyone around to spend it anyway. Some of last year’s projects are becoming problems again, but at least they’re not becoming my problem.

But at least it’s kind of normal (or was for a couple of weeks) until we end up doing this all over again at the end of January, which looks more likely all the time. Given the seven weeks of no pay, finances are kind of upside down even if the balance sheet is still in the positive, so we’d already decided the holidays were going to be a non-event anyway. Better to batten down and keep the emergency fund for the next emergency.

Nobody feels much like celebrating anyway; this year has been, by far, the worst on record of my fifty-one years on this planet, and piling on some personal setbacks in the past week that I’m still coming to terms with, it’s not getting any better as we hit the home stretch.

I’m making the executive decision to frankly just sit this one out. Ride these next couple of weeks out, button up for the year, and just hermit for a couple of weeks in December, unplug, work on a couple of low-key personal projects and soul-search a bit.

Maybe I can come up with some way to more effectively cope with the coming year which isn’t likely to improve.

Another week, more gossip, stress, bullshit, “senior officials” dropping dubious tips in the press, and no real movement. This is my world now.

The big story of the week, however, the absolute electoral blowout here and elsewhere, which (along with hearing that a couple of my favorite co-workers took advantage of the current business to get hitched!) was some seriously welcome news amidst the usual big pile of shit.

Virginia was pretty great; the Dems running the table, Governor, Lieutenant Governor, Attorney General, and at least thirteen seats in the House of Delegates. Plus, similar stories in New Jersey and elsewhere. Talking Virginia, I feel especially good; Abby Spanberger is good people (she and her family are acquaintances, with many friends in common), and I know she’ll do a damned good job keeping this particular Commonwealth from going the way of so many other parts of this country as part of a historically diverse ticket.

Of special note to me, is the fact that one of those 13 HoD seats was the one covering my address, which flipped blue thanks to Lindsey Dougherty winning over the useless personality void that saved those boneheaded text messages for a couple of years like they were a blue dress in order to derail the AG campaign. After voting Tuesday morning (along with our youngest, voting for the first time – cool!), we chatted briefly with Lindsey outside the polling place (she was working all the precincts like a hustling candidate ought to), and she came across as pleasant, normal, and looking forward to serving.

So yeah, that stuff felt good, and going to let myself enjoy that good. Also, Sandwich Guy, symbol of the modern resistance, was found not guilty yesterday.

The rest of it, though, was kinda meh. The arrival of my second zeroed out LES, the dog being very extra, my back acting up, and knowing that this has all been happening long enough that the beer I started back at the beginning will be ready for tasting on Sunday.

I do, however, have that to look forward to. I’m also set up to end the cycling season with the annual Bike and Beers ride in Williamsburg, and we’ve got D&D penciled in for Sunday evening. But, even with those things, I’m still really, completely over this.

Tunes? Lots more indie. Nothing new here.

1. “Supernova” – Liz Phair
2. “Febersvan” – GUAPA
3. “Foolin’ Noone” – The Scratch
4. “Ghost” – Hannah Wicklund
5. “That Kind of Life” – Michigan Rattlers
6. “Ancient Light” – I’m With Her
7. “Power of Right” – Eddie Vedder
8. “Bury Me” – Jason Isbell
9. “Starting Now” – Toad the Wet Sprocket
10. “Affogato” – Ripe
11. “Take” – The Beths
12. “Back To The Beginning Again”- Robert Jon & The Wreck